The Goodies - Radio Goodies

Radio Goodies

First broadcast: 20th December 1970 on BBC-1

This was my favourite episode I've seen so far. The Goodies decide to take advantage of the recent introduction of commercial radio licences - at least that's how it appeared to me. My knowledge of the history of commercial radio is slim but nonetheless, 1970 seemed a tad early for the Goodies to be applying for a licence - and that's because it probably is.

The Sound Broadcasting Act 1972 helped turn the Independent Television Authority (ITA) into the Independent Broadcasting Authority (IBA), so independent radio gained a regulator. It seems likely that the regulator needed to exist before licences could be handed out. Yet it's unsurprising that the Goodies would be keen already by December 1970 because in June that year the Conservatives had won a General Election with a manifesto that proposed the introduction of commercial radio.

Until then, pirate radio was the only alternative to the BBC's airwaves monopoly, with stations basing themselves on vessels positioned several miles out to sea, and thus beyond the legal reach of UK law. When the Goodies are turned down for a licence, they opt to launch their own pirate station, which also then becomes the base for their independent postal service.

Bill and Tim's enthusiasm for the radio station is best exemplified by the fact they have spent considerable time perfecting a jingle before they even hear about their licence. When they do get their station, Bill has worked hard on his presenting skills to emulate an upbeat, fast-talking disc jockey. He's clearly hoping for superstardom and I'd be curious if his style is based on any contemporaries in particular. With both these important aspects in place, we then discover that they have neglected to acquire any records so are left playing one single on repeat.

Graeme is emerging as the technical bod of the three, which suits him as I think he looks like he should be presenting something from the Open University. He masterminds the design of their sea base and after proposing their postal service, later descends into increasing power-crazed megalomania, finally morphing into a villain who is Nazi-like in appearance. I hugely enjoyed watching this change in Graeme, who had seemed like the most sensible and ordinary of the three in the previous episodes I'd seen.

The design of the radio station is extraordinary. Graeme's drawing shows a small fishing boat that sits atop the water, with a cylinder heading down beneath to the full station, complete with living arrangements and sleeping quarters. Graeme presents his design to the others, placing it in our imagination, thus it doesn't matter that we never actually see most of this.

I adore the radio station set. It seems superb and unnecessarily huge for a single episode of a sitcom that also spends plenty of time on location. It looks wonderfully futuristic, immediately making me think of sci-fi series. I like the continuity that means it has a large silver 'G' on the door, similar to the one at the Goodies headquarters.

The structure of the Goodies' postal service is never explained and I couldn't work out how they were supposed to make any money from it, so it's best not to dwell upon that. Bill and Tim are left to do the bulk of the manual work, roaming around as rogue post boxes, trying to trap people into giving them their post. The sorting operation is even stranger, with Bill and Tim attaching balloons to the letters, which are directed out to sea for Graeme to shoot down and retrieve. I particularly liked the idea of the first class delivery that is delivered singularly by a Rolls Royce, then carried to the door on a silver tray by Tim, dressed up to the nines.

I mentioned my early enjoyment of The Goodies' musical choices and Radio Goodies excelled. I was particularly keen on the postal song that served as a background to Bill and Tim's rushed activities. It really contributes well to these lengthy, silent sequences of visual comedy.

The Goodies - Cecily

Cecily

First broadcast: 13th December 1970 on BBC-1

The Goodies are struggling to find work and one does wonder whether 'anything any time' is just too vague for the general public. McCall's newspaper advert in The Equalizer is similarly brief but at least he narrowed it down to helping people that had a problem with the odds against them. I think the Goodies may need some simple marketing support that conveys that they can do anything for YOU, any time that suits YOU.

However, I admire their persistence and the 'anything, any time' remit does feel like it's started to stretch - I certainly hadn't imagined them taking on babysitting duties. Of the threesome's new roles, I particularly enjoyed Tim's role as Nanny - it was the voice more than anything; it isn't just high-pitched, but he's got a crackly tone that ages it.

Part of me keeps expecting to have a fairly normal episode of a sitcom. The openings do give that impression to a degree when they set up the plot for each episode. We could easily just progress onto standard sitcom events, so I tend to experience a "What?!" moment midway through.

With so little set at their headquarters compared to the previous episodes I'd seen, I like how The Goodies feel part of the real world, despite the fantastical elements of it. While I disliked Tower of London's long, silent sequence, since then I've begun to love these sections of the episodes. I am still getting to know the limits of The Goodies' world so tigers in suburban gardens and plants moving of their own accord all take me by surprise. I enjoyed Graeme's battle with the garden as well as the separate mayhem in the kitchen, and I liked how it came together when the garden began trying to invade indoors. This was a nice way of linking the location and studio scenes, helping them feel one and the same.

While all this is going on, we are still waiting to meet Cecily and are unsure what to expect after her aunt and uncle have made us trepidatious. She has a decent-sized role in the episode, despite so much happening before we actually see her. I liked the double twist that we first feel sorry for this lovely little girl, only for it to be flipped back later on.

The Goodies - Gender Education

Gender Education

My next episode of The Goodies moves us swiftly further along to series 2, episode 11. At the Goodies' headquarters, a well-turned-out, mature woman with glasses sneaks up on Tim and Graeme. She's instantly recognisable as a faux-Mary Whitehouse and I must admit I was surprised that I saw this so quickly, yet she really did have a distinctive look. It's confirmed that she is a Mary Whitehouse figure when we learn Mrs Desiree Carthorse represents the Keep Filth Off Television Campaign - similar to Whitehouse's well-known Clean Up TV Campaign.

It's an extreme caricature, with her horrified at anything not perfectly prim and proper, particularly anything to do with sex - to the point that she won't even spell it out and just mimes writing the 'x' in the air. That the Goodies all take this up as well is great.

Mrs pretend-Whitehouse has sought out the Goodies because she wants them to make a 'clean' sex education film. We get to see the results of this and there are some marvellous touches. A naked man and woman are covered with white sheets, and after reference to "the birds and the bees", we cut to shots of tiny white cloths covering hovering pairs of birds and bees.

I was fond of Bill as a television mogul, who heads off to make things with lots of violence because he knows it's what the people want. I loved how power-mad he had gone. The comedy is maximised by using Bill as the shortest chap with an absurdly massive cigar, like all good moguls should have.

We again get plenty of time on location when Tim and Graeme take Mrs Carthorse to Bill's latest shoot. It feels like real evidence of their enthusiasm for filming out of a studio because this is exactly the sort of thing they could have more easily done in a studio! Yet it means we are perfectly placed for the manic fun that follows. Unlike Tower of London's lengthiest location sequence, I adored the extravaganza on Bill's set here. It has another lengthy run-around but there was more variety watching both the Goodies pelting around the set as well as some of the supporting cast.

I had been impressed by The Goodies' music previously but enjoyed it even more on this episode and by the time I had finished Gender Education, I was in love with the style.

The Goodies - Tower of London

I first watched The Goodies without realising. In my early forays to YouTube, I was searching for Doctor Who content when I came across something featuring Patrick Troughton up against three other blokes. Split into two videos, there were no titles and when it finished I still I had no idea what it was but I enjoyed its style.

A short while later, I recognised the three chaps elsewhere. I was certain for years that I had watched several episodes of The Goodies over Christmas 2005. Now I can check these things, I've learned it's likely that I actually saw clips from Return of the Goodies and these may have been supplemented afterwards by a Comedy Connections episode on The Goodies - that documentary series was helping me discover various programmes around that time.

Over the years I saw more clips but despite years of keeping an eye out, The Goodies hasn't really turned up as repeats and soon faded into vagueness in my memory. However, when someone sent me their spare The Goodies...At Last DVDs, I knew I would eventually get around to them.

Tower of London/The Crown Jewels

As the first episode, this proved an excellent introduction to The Goodies as it opens with the three leads - Tim, Graeme and Bill - arriving at their new headquarters. It's a clean-looking, modern main room for 1970, although we are placed firmly in period when we see the patterned decor of the other rooms. I got a shock when the doors were opened to a CSO view of a couple of other rooms, then it gave me a nice laugh when, as they were repeatedly opened, the view changed to show more rooms, so that this otherwise tiny floor has kitchen, bedroom, bathroom and more. Even better was the CSO used with the blinds to change the view out the window. It seems such an innovative way of experimenting with technology when I'm used to CSO simply being a necessity for science-fiction in this decade.

Having got this spanking-new headquarters, it appears the gang hadn't been entirely certain what they were going to do with it, but Bill's adverts in various publications inform people they are willing to "anything anytime". Their first request comes from the Tower of London.

The Beefeaters at the Tower cannot get enough beef as it is all disappearing and they have begun to waste away. Two small Beefeaters appear at one point, disgusted to be told the only thing on offer is corned beef. Later, we are presented with two piles of clothes as they have disappeared completely. Despite everything around it, I was just tickled from the off by the idea that Beefeaters cannot survive without beef and enjoyed the reinforcement.

I also liked the visual gags at the Tower as a torture chamber has been converted into a kitchen, with a guillotine being used as a bread slicer. As the corned beef is about to be cut, I was expecting something similar to drop down from the ceiling, so it caught me out alongside the trio when a pendulum swung across instead.

The Goodies have to deduce a word puzzle from their computer at one point - that in itself feels a new-fangled thing as it actually has a screen, rather just providing a print out on ticker-tape. Four images displayed to our detectives. I'd kept up with them that the first two equalled 'crown', the third was a profile view of an old lady, while the fourth was a bell with a cross through a 'b', so we had 'crown something ells'. I ended up ahead of them in guessing 'crown jewels' but gasped and cringed as I realised.

Even though this is a BBC programme, The Goodies has 'Part One' and 'Part Two' sections. Initially forgetting this, I didn't think to question it and it only makes sense when you realise they have created their own adverts. I liked this idea as it's a way for them to get sketches in within a sitcom.

The amount of location filming in the series is wonderful and a refreshing change when many other shows from this era are still predominantly studio-bound. The Goodies appears almost the reverse - a location-based series that enters the studio when it has to. It provides plenty of opportunity for visual gags, such as the use of their 'trandem' bicycle. There is one extended sequence of the gang chasing Prince Charles across London and this is the only part that didn't entirely work for me as it feels lengthy without quite enough comedy to fill it.

The programme avoids having to try to record sound on location by overlaying it with music. This isn't just any old library music or a rehash of the title theme either - they are unique pieces recorded for the series by Bill Oddie with William Gibb. The more I heard, the more I liked this.

Auf Wiedersehen, Pet

Until last year, I believed Auf Wiedersehen, Pet was a sitcom set in a pet shop. I have no idea exactly why or when this image of a northern pet shop had formed in my mind. Suffice to say, it was a tad off the mark. One day, perhaps someone will write about the hilarious adventures of the employees at Perfect Pets as they grapple with escaped tarantulas and randy rabbits.

Yesterday - the TV channel - began repeating Auf Wiedersehen, Pet. The programme is a comedy-drama, a genre description that always leaves me somewhat hesitant. It makes me worry that the comedy will be mediocre and the drama will be lacking any real, well, drama. When I watched an episode for the first time last year, I didn't know what to expect and was left intrigued but not quite gripped enough to rush out to buy the DVDs. These repeats felt like the best opportunity to see the series fully.

It's the early eighties and tradesmen around the UK are struggling to get any work. Some have looked abroad and made some contacts in Germany, who are keen to hire them. In the first episode, we follow three blokes from the North East as they make their way over. The plan is to put in a few months' graft and save up before going back to their families.

The first episode, If I Were a Carpenter, does a good job of setting up the series. In the episode I had watched, one of the things I struggled with was trying to keep track of the characters. We are gradually introduced to them in this opening episode, ensuring I could learn most of their names. There is a lot to fit into this episode but we still manage to discover a bit of character background.

An initial summing up of the magnificent seven:

Neville (Kevin Whately) is a young brickie who desperately wants to make some money so he can buy a nice house in a decent area for him and his wife. He didn't want to go to Germany but feels he has no choice. He misses his wife a lot and appears to write her at least three postcards before they even reach their accommodation. 

Dennis (Tim Healey) is a family man with two young children and has worked in Germany several times before. He has convinced Neville to come over and is the one with the German contacts. We learn he and his wife have separated. 

Oz (Jimmy Nail) has a wife back home but unlike Neville, has no qualms about leaving her. He heads to a brothel on their first night in Dusseldorf. 

Wayne (Gary Holton) is a young Southern lad with long hair that has bits of blue in it. Most of the time he has headphones on and also seems to do quite well at chatting up the local barmaids. 

Barry (Timothy Spall) is a Brummie that Dennis has met in Germany before. He rides a motorbike and likes to stay in with peace and quiet. 

Bomber (Pat Roach) hails from near Bristol and in the first episode is planning to go home as he has work lined up there. However, the night before he is supposed to leave he gambles all his money away so has to stay on.

Moxey (Christopher Fairbank) is a Liverpudlian who doesn't appear until the second episode. He is warmly welcomed because he owns a dartboard. In later episodes, we will find out he is a convicted arsonist.

The second episode is titled Who Won the War Anyway? and instantly in my head, Basil Fawlty is screaming at his German guests, "Who won the bloody war anyway?"

There is plenty of German spoken very well in the episode; enough to convince me that some of the actors are the genuine article. Checking IMDB afterwards, I find they are. None of it is subtitled. I prefer this because I think it would be distracting and for the most part, it is not necessary. Some of the lines are simply background chatter and anyone could take a good guess at much of the rest based on the context. As I'm learning German myself, I do spend a lot of time trying to work out what is being said.

Oz is incredibly anti-German and wants nothing to do with them. He is there to work and have a good time. Though, funnily, his reluctance to be near the Germans does not extend to some of the women. He winds the rest of them up and is generally a bit of a dick. It does, of course, come back to the war. It's Dennis who points out that their fathers were probably fighting each other and this remark made me realise just how close the war still is for them. 1945 is the equivalent distance from 1983 as 1979 is from 2017. Apart from Oz, the workers have no real problem with the Germans, realising that the blokes they work with are not Nazis.

The impact of the war is brought much closer when Neville discovers an unexploded bomb on the building site. It's a great reminder that Britain bombed Germany's civilians too. Oz is bizarrely proud that it's a British bomb until it is pointed out that "it didn't go off". A local news crew come and interview Neville, drawn on the novelty that it was a British man who discovered the British bomb.

Neville has made friends with one of the German locals, Helmut Fischer, who invites him over for dinner. Together, they watch themselves on the evening news. Yet it is only Helmut who actually speaks any English. When Herman pops out to buy more booze after dinner, Neville is left with Herman's father. What follows is an awkward few minutes in which the two attempt to communicate. It was excruciatingly familiar to me. But I loved how well they both improvised. Herr Fischer Senior takes out a photograph album and starts showing it to Neville, pointing out a submarine that he was on. He tells Neville the name of it and Neville pieces it together, doing his best to explain that his own grandfather was on a vessel sunk by the submarine Herr Fischer had been on. Neville gets very excited during all this before saying of his grandfather, "He was killed." It is such a wonderfully odd juxtaposition to throw in, having Neville become so enthusiastic about this connection.

The Girls They Left Behind gives us a look at the wives of Neville, Dennis and Oz back in England. Neville is scraping together as much as possible to send back to his Brenda and Dennis likewise sends plenty back for his kids. However, we learn that Oz hasn't sent a penny back to his wife, Marjorie. What's more, she doesn't even know he's out there until she gets in touch with Dennis's wife, Vera.

Oz really is incredibly unlikeable. He's expecting Marjorie to claim benefits in his absence so thinks she should be able to get by without his money. Several of the other guys are shocked to discover Oz has a child too as he's never mentioned him before.

Dennis and Oz travel to see Sunderland play in Belgium. Oz gets hammered with some other fans and wakes up on a plane going to Newcastle. He has nowhere to go but home to Marjorie, saying he has come home because he felt bad about the letter she sent. But he's found out when the letter comes back in the post that morning with 'not known at this address' written on. Even worse, when he returns to Dusseldorf, he discovers the lads picked up his pay packet for him and, not expecting him back, sent it to the North East.

It's nice to see Oz get some sort of comeuppance for his behaviour. His marriage does not seem like it can last though. Knowing what Oz is getting up to in Germany, Marjorie decides to spend the night with a man who only leaves just before Oz arrives. Oz is content to spend all his money in the bar every weekend so it is unlikely he will change his ways.

In Suspicion, some money is stolen from Neville and a watch from Oz. The hut goes from a bunch of mates to men who all deeply distrust each other. It tests the new friendships and exposes the faults they all feel about each other.

Bomber's daughter has run away in Home Thoughts From Abroad. He becomes very quiet and is clearly deeply worried about her, eventually choosing to head home. He plans to take the train but the others all have a whip round so he can a flight. When she actually turns up in Germany the other lads make a good job of looking after. Despite her coming on to him, Wayne turns her down, feeling it a step over the mark.

Whilst the first few episodes have tended to focus on the three Geordie blokes, this one starts to give the others a chance to shine. Apart from his oddity of speaking about himself in the third person, we know little about Bomber before this episode. Wayne has also been absent, usually because he is off chasing girls.

A highlight of this episode is when some of the lads, missing home, decide to pay a visit to an Indian restaurant. Oz is at his dreadful best.

Oz: Would ya credit, eh? Indian waiter what cannae speak English! 

Dennis: Aye, well, we are in Germany, Oz. 

Oz: Well exactly. So why isn't he speaking English? I mean he's one of us, isn't he? I mean, this is a curry house, isn't it? Cannae get more British than that, can ya, eh?

The Accused was really hard to watch. A German girl insists Neville escort her home, though she is actually just trying to make her boyfriend jealous. Afterwards, the police arrest Neville but none of them speak English. He is terrified and has no idea what is going on. My limited German meant I picked it up slightly earlier than we are told but anyone could have taken a guess. The woman has accused Neville of sexually assaulting her. It is an utterly dreadful ordeal for Neville and the support of the other guys becomes important. A terrible thing is used to show just how close they have become.

Dennis has begun seeing Dagma, a local German lady who works in the office on the site. However, he doesn't want the others to know anything about it for fear of what they will say. He does not want them discussing Dagma like they do other women. In Private Lives, Wayne is trying to teach Barry how to woo women and they end up chasing after some Swedish air hostesses. They are staying in a hotel, the same hotel where Dennis and Dagma have gone for the weekend. Dennis is not a happy man.

Desperate to get out into the country for the weekend, the lads pack up the car in The Fugitive. The highlight of this episode is Ray Winstone as an army deserter. When the lads bump into him he invents various stories to explain himself before the truth eventually comes out.

The Alien was the one episode I had seen before. The reason I struggled with it perhaps is that much of the attention is directed towards Magowan, a violent Irishman, who ends up sharing the hut. Through blackmailing the site boss, Herr Grunwald (they spot him in a porn cinema), they manage to get Magowan sacked. Unfortunately, he does nick the dartboard. The gang end up in the porn cinema looking for Neville, though it turns out he has been taking guitar lessons in a room above it. The porn cinema is a foreign concept to me as I am far too young to remember them, even if my small town had had one. Do any of them still exist? I think of them as a very 1970s' thing. Videos came along and gave full-colour porn to the masses. No need for middle-aged men to spend lunchtimes wanking underneath a trenchcoat. We moved on to the Internet, of course. Now everyone can do it however they please in the comfort of their own homes.

Perhaps the visit to the cinema is what inspired Oz in Last Rites to begin smuggling mucky videos back to the UK. He attempts to hide them in a coffin but it goes to pot when the guy ends up getting cremated.

The final few episodes of the first series, The Lovers, Love and Other Four-Letter Words and When the Boat Goes Out all have a focus on relationships and the prospect of going home. Oz goes out with a German girl who believes him to be the son of a tycoon. Meanwhile, Dennis is getting close with Dagma but has everything thrown up in the air when his wife, Vera, comes over. He believed she just wanted to finalise some divorce details but she confesses she isn't sure she wants the divorce. Dennis is left having to choose whether to give things another go or continue with his plan to stay in Germany with Dagma. He chooses his marriage because of the kids. I didn't want him to.

Wayne has fallen for a new German woman in the offices and deciding to become a one-woman man, chooses to stay in Germany. Neville can't wait to get back to Brenda and Bomber to his kids. Oz is happy to leave the Erics. Barry is taking his bike off to Saudia Arabia. Moxey wants to stay in Germany.

Everything is in place for them each to go their separate ways. Then, on their final night, a fire starts in the hut, destroying tickets, money and passports. It leaves the series open-ended.

Having loved the first series of Auf Wiedersehen, Pet, I ploughed on enthusiastically with the second and then the third, at which point I chucked it in. I think the programme would have been better if they had all ended up back in Germany and it is certainly what I had expected to happen. Perhaps the writers felt the storylines were exhausted but with seven blokes, there was surely plenty more to explore. Moxey in particular never received a great deal of plot attention.

The second series feels a tad disconnected with the gang meeting in Birmingham, then going to Derbyshire and finally Spain. The third series comes around 15 years later and already things are out of joint because Gary Holton had passed away during the filming of the second series. Though both of these series do attempt to recreate the 'trapped' nature of the lads' original existence in the German hut, they never quite manage it. They are too close to family and home. There are also much greater story arcs. That first series is so very much about the characters, far more than any of the plots.

Personally, I will choose to think of Aud Wiedersehen, Pet as a one-off and I am content to ignore the existence of the later series. Becoming absorbed in the goings on of the hut was an enjoyable experience. Apart from anything, I have become fond of one or two Geordie turns of phrase, including:

"gan" for "gone"
"gadgie" for "man"
"bairn" for "child"
"Ha'way, man" as a general exclamation

The first series is magnificent and brings together some talented young guys. We get to explore some interesting characters, who are all quite different in their ways but have been thrust together by circumstance.